“Sir, no, watch out, you’re going to step on me!”

Just like an ant walking down the street, that’s how I feel sometimes. Invisible and wanting to shout out. But that’s an exaggeration, reality’s not like that. Just my perception. A perception of invisibility that I just can’t shake it out. Maybe because I’m the youngest in my family? Maybe… but this is not the point.

Perception… isn’t that an interesting concept? We mistake perception with reality. There’s no reality, just perceptions. Our eyes are limited, our minds even more so. How can we even attempt to describe a room without our filters? Ask two people and they will give you different accounts. And who’s right? Both. Maybe the first one notices the deterioration of the walls, whilst the other is focused in the large Windows and the way the light enters the room.

Only perceptions. And then we want to impose our perceptions in others, arrogantly saying that’s the real thing, just because our eyes transmitted the images, sounds and colors to our brain, interpreting them at will. There’s not just one reality.

So am I really invisible or that’s just my perception? I’ll go with the latter. I’m not invisible at all, I just feel like it because my perception is showing me only what my brain chooses to see. If someone tells me, ‘hey, I love your story!’ and then it’s just him, and I think that my story sucks before no one else reads it, does it really suck because it’s bad written, or I just think it is because others hadn’t read it? I’ll go with the latter too.

Writing is just like drawing. Unless you’re a natural, your first drawings will suck. Only with practice and constant practice it’ll improve…wait. That sounds familiar…

Okay. Writing is like everything else in life. You have to practice and practice to improve. Whether is for social capabilities, playing basketball or being good at school, you have to practice and practice. There’s no easy way, just hard work.

I learned that the hard way. My family always says that mana will fall from the sky and everything will be fine. Hubby says that you have to work hard and there’s nothing as a free lunch. Who’s right? Sometimes I think both are, but life has shown me the hard path. There’s nothing free in life and you need to work for it. At least that’s my perception, since that’s my experience. And my experiences will shape my perception. Since I’ve never had something for free, then of course for my life has to be hard. You want to get married? Work hard and save money for the expenses. No parents to pay for it. You want to go in vacation? Work hard and save money for it. You want to buy an expensive coffee? Work hard… you got it.

The ant has to work hard for the winter to come. I’m an ant. I’m an ant. I’m… a tinny little ant that has given up in trying living like the grasshopper in Aesop’s fable. And that’s actually made my life easier. Accepting the inevitable. Inevitable… Inevitable to think in Mr. Smith from The Matrix. Love how he pronounces that word. I can’t. Inevitable… It rolls in my tongue and trips just at the tip. Inevitable. The day I master pronouncing that word, I’ll be ready to conquer the world. Just like Pinky and Cerebrum. I’m Pinky, by the way. Pinky, pinky, pinky…

Just perceptions, not reality.

Lights out.